John Merideth's Blog

Q & A

2007-09-26T10:51:00.001-05:00

Q: Why don’t you talk philosophy more when you teach? Don’t you think it would be helpful to give students an idea of what they should be focusing on or thinking about while they are practicing?

A: A Yoga practice is like a Rorschach inkblot test in action. It is important to give students plenty of time to really sink into the thickness of their own thoughts. As they do this they will project a great deal of their own internalized struggle and resistance onto the experience (the practice). If a teacher is always “proselytizing” or espousing beliefs, then students will ultimately not have the “thinking” space to befriend their own mind and gain a deeper understanding of their own very personal mental habituation. Simply put, there is a significant difference between having someone tell us we are stuck, or being reactive, versus reaching that conclusion in our own time. We are far more likely to take ownership over our own realizations! I also believe that most of us tend towards taking life far too seriously and we bring that limitation with us onto our mat. We turn our yoga practice into another way to avoid the sometimes heartbreaking inconsistencies and injustices of being mortal humans. I believe that learning to truly be uncomfortable and...make it through to the other side of that discomfort is a big part of what yoga has to teach us. Having someone croon dogmatic pleasantries while we are attempting to pull our senses inward seems counter intuitive at best, if not wholly egocentric. What about inspiration? One of the most profound concepts I was ever exposed to in my life is that motivation comes from within. A good teacher learns to step out of the way so that students are able to find their own inner cheerleader.

This isn’t to say that the philosophy of yoga is unimportant. Certainly it is possible to fill in some of the shadows cast by one's own mind and gain a much deeper understanding of the overall yoking process by slogging through an original source like the Yoga Sutras. However, unlike other philosophies, yoga is relevant only to the degree we are willing and able to put its ideas into action in our practice. It is primarily for this reason that I continue to practice Ashtanga yoga, it is philosophy in action and in many respects an artful recipe for living a rich and delicious life.

-John Merideth • Director and Owner of onlYoga

Swim Smart

2007-09-26T10:51:00.000-05:00

Swim Smart

Stepping to the front of the mat and attempting to surrender to the idea that for the next 90 minutes we are going to practice "relaxing effort" can present something of a conundrum in our practice. Since yoga is at least in part a physical experience we often assume that without struggle we wont reap its many flaunted benefits. So we hold on tight, contract our mental muscles and launch ourselves into the "work" of making it happen. Instead of floating, we bang and stumble our way from one practice to the next. I refer to this as the "hard work" paradigm and it is mostly about affirming what we already know about our physical experience? Since the effort we exert sometimes allows us to muscle our way through yoga postures that seemed unreachable a few months ago, this paradigm can be difficult to shake. Inevitably though we hit a plateau and begin to wonder why we are working so hard all the time. We begin to wonder if this is it...and for some of us it is. We have simply affirmed what we already knew - our bodies are finite structures.

When I was swimming competitively one of my coaches, Jack Nelson, used to go on and on about how important it was to swim smart. He employed many “fascinating” techniques to make his point (most of which ended with a fairly large portion of the team treading water). I thought I understood his point then but it wasn't until I began suffering through my yoga practice a few years later that his words really clicked into place. “Muscles can help you float or they can drag you down. Brute strength and effort don’t win a race. Efficiency and awareness can make a mediocre swimmer great. Swim smart!”

In life we often approach a situation with our full compliment of attachments, habits and preconceptions about who we are and how we are. Before we say a single word, take a single breath or make our first move we have predetermined the outcome of the experience. Pema Chodron calls it our story line - the self-perpetuating tale we weave to maintain the status quo. Relaxing effort means that we allow the story line and its limiting internal definitions to fall away. Essentially we attempt to move or love or breath or eat or work with intelligence. The key to this form of intelligent action is nonjudgmental observation. We watch, we notice and we make small adjustments that keep us asking questions about where we are. The real practice then is in learning how to allow the experience to live us so that ME stops getting in the way. I have found over the years that intelligent action can infuse an otherwise stale, flat practice with new life and tons of fresh energy. Suddenly we are like children again curiously exploring and playing through what we previously identified as “work”. So the next time you step to the front of your mat don't try so hard to be who you think you are, instead relax the effort and swim smart!

Namaste • John Merideth • Director onlYoga

Light - The God Of Generosity

2007-09-26T10:50:00.001-05:00

Light - The God Of Generosity

For longer than recorded history, native cultures living in the northern hemisphere have recognized that December brings with it ever increasing darkness. The days grow steadily colder and shorter and the age old drama in the war of light against darkness takes on a particularly poignant significance. In late December (this year December 21), the sun seems to hover in the sky in its lowest arc of the year. The winter solstice (meaning standing still sun) brings with it the shortest period of daylight during the year and historically has been the most hopeful and conversely the most dreaded time of the year.

Cultures from across the globe watched and recorded the movement of the heavenly bodies to assure they would be prepared for and able to predict the time each year when darkness would appear to rule over light. Humans have struggled with the darkness during the winter months for millennia. Complex and often lengthy rituals were developed to ensure the triumph of light over darkness. To this day the Hopitu Shinumu, or The Peaceful Ones, a native culture from the pacific northwest, practice the Soyal ceremony. The ritual begins on the shortest day of the year and is a time for offering prayers and wishing prosperity and health in the coming year. During the Soyaluna ritual, the most powerful humans of the Hopi, the warriors, intreat the Sun God to turn around and return to the earth. This ritual represents, among other things, the start of another cycle of the wheel of the year and is one of the most important periods of purification. Prior to the Christian era the Roman solar cult had its major festival on the winter solstice, December 25th. This date of the invincible sun was carried into the iconography of Christianity as the birth of Jesus and the story of a brilliant star that lit the sky symbolizing life over death...light over darkness.

Although science has given us a precise and clear way for understanding the decline of the sun during the winter months, light continues to play a significant sub-conscious role for us during December. We continue to mimic age old customs of building bonfires, burning candles and celebrating festivals of light by wrapping our homes in glittering reminders of the transition taking place during this season. The lights of December are an invocation of the coming warmth and brighter skies of Spring. This time of year is a reminder that just as light follows dark, great joy often follows and flows from deep sorrow. Satisfying some primal instinct within each of us, light, the Giver God, brings with it comfort and hope for life’s renewal.

Namaste • John Merideth • Director onlYoga

The Auto Familiar

2007-09-26T10:50:00.000-05:00

The Auto-Familiar

One of the most difficult tasks of teaching a movement based practice like yoga, is getting across to students that they must unmask the assumptions they carry within them around what it means to fully be in their body. Some of the assumptions we use to shape our experience of ourselves are obvious; gender, age, weight, height, etc. Many, many more are far more subtle and often require fairly intense study to uncover. The difficulty is in illuminating how years of conditioned action have brought us to our current level of self-awareness. Movement and posture, not unlike language, can take on a very auto-familiar quality within the closed sphere of our own experience. The range and vocabulary of our movement can feel limited to what we have previously experienced or known. Movement based practices like yoga or dance are in many ways like learning a foreign language. By demanding that we stay present, they dislodge us from our assumptions and quite literally propel us into the possibility of redefinition. From the vantage point of a new vocabulary of movement, we can envision being in our bodies in a fresh way. The known is a powerful and safe place to reside. Stretching beyond our comfort zone into a new vocabulary of experience is how we shake free of the assumed prejudices we hold about ourselves.

“Taken by itself, each language is auto-familiar: it has its own concepts, its own system of thought which, within it, condition the thinkable. The way we think and speak arises out of decisions our language has already made for us: language discreetly dictates to its users - in an invisible manner - self-evident assumptions and proscriptions that are inscribed in its grammar (which is, by definition, imperceptible from inside the language.) In order for grammar to appear as such one must dislodge one's language from its self-presence, from its assumptions and proscriptions, by subjecting them to the otherness of a different grammar, by putting them in question through the medium of a foreign language.”

Felman, Shoshana.

Writing and Madness

. pp 18-19.

Effortless Effort

2007-09-26T10:48:00.000-05:00

Our ability to see into things, to see the truth, is intrinsic. We can extract happiness and meaning from life despite our awareness of our own mortality. This is a universal quest that crosses time and culture. By practicing yoga we learn to rein in the tendency of consciousness to gravitate toward the impermanence of external things. As consciousness settles, it takes on a transparent quality and our experience of time becomes more spacious and less personal. With more time and space the drama of life becomes less compelling. At this point consciousness begins to experience a less personal way of seeing and a problem emerges. We are faced with a conundrum - the very action and energy propelling us to seek clarity is itself an obstacle on our path. The more force we use, the more it feels like we are doing something. It is at this point that we must develop the ability to rest in the stillness of the moment. However, first we must learn to identify the point of focus. Once we can identify the stillness, we can learn to return to it without exertion. There are many important issues that allow us to reach this juncture but two stand out above the others. The first is motivation or the genuine energy we bring to liberating our mind (effort). The second is intelligent orientation or our willingness to continually place our consciousness before the divine mirror of life (effortless). Motivation requires energy but truly seeing the sublime beauty in a sunset is intrinsically effortless.

John Merideth • Director

The Ineffable

2007-02-23T00:14:00.001-05:00

To great or extreme to be described in words...hmmmm.

A very, very funny take on going "home" for the holidays!

2006-11-25T19:16:00.001-05:00

Anger...

2006-09-13T09:10:00.001-05:00

The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.

Barbara De Angelis

Teaching

2006-08-21T22:53:00.001-05:00

It is a challenge teaching...everybody is looking for something
different in their practice. I have to remind myself that all too
often we only see what we are looking for and miss much of what lies
before us. The real practice is in allowing the experience to live
us so that we stop getting in the way.

Love

2006-08-21T22:11:00.001-05:00

Perhaps love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Thoreau Quote

2006-07-10T22:38:00.001-05:00

As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.

-Henry David Thoreau

Counsious Evolution

2006-07-01T20:04:00.001-05:00

Counsious Evolution

How can one be totally present and accepting and still strive to be a better person or work on self-improvement? I get this type of question fairly often from students, especially when we are reading some seemingly esoteric text directly and indirectly stating that enlightenment requires complete acceptance of the moment. How can we have a "goal" of reaching higher consciousness while accepting that we're not "there" yet. If we are content to just be, why would we strive for more? Of course, the easy answer is that full acceptance is itself an "end point" of sorts...but such solipsism doesn't usually get me very far in a discussion.

The more difficult answer, and the way that I try to live my life (with varying degrees of success), has to do with what I refer to as placement. Who we think we are and how we define our experience is often relative to culturally dictated data sets that we collect about ourselves, like our weight, our bank balance, job title, status, etc. We use this data stream to compare and contrast our current position with where we have been. Life is "good" as long as we see a positive trend and tends to make us anxious when we notice negative growth. The placement part of this is related to identifying our position, placing our ego, relative to stuff that is in flux, like our bank account, our waist line or our partner, rather than something infinite like universal compassion, pure awareness or non-violence. When we stop tying our sense of self so strongly to culturally predictable normative standards and begin instead to shape our identity around unbounded ideas like pure awareness, our position shifts from the fluctuation of outcome to one anchored in possibility..
For me personally this translates into being a highly motivated, goal oriented, overachiever without loosing sight of what’s really important. In fact, I try to regularly evaluate where I am and reset my intentions to move me toward greater abundance but my sense of who I am or what makes John a “good” person has little to do with external factors. I continually orient myself towards trying without being attached to the outcome. I can continue to strive for greater abundance and new experience, without feeling limited by the results of my endeavors, because I have set my internal awareness towards a concept that is greater than my own limited existence. Working this way offers one the benefit of being proactive without the drawback of self-definition based on accomplishments alone. On a day to day level, I have goals and the pendulum of success swings back and forth but in terms of my life work, my experience transcends these temporary fluctuations.
A mind set like this can take a little getting used to and requires consistent practice in letting go of the linear methodology employed by our woonky culture. Its like arguing gravity is relative. Of course, on earth, gravity isn’t relative but how we frame our relationship to its force in our life is relative. Without gravity we wouldn’t have a down or an up and our placement in space would depend on “choice” rather than assumption (Think The Matrix). For me, regular meditation and LOTS of asana work helps wash away some of life’s inherent habituation, keeping me clear and focused on the big picture...god.
Sadly I have noticed over the last few years that this great practice we call YOGA is itself becoming mired in limited constructs of money, power, fame and status. Instead of practices providing students with a place to land and evolve after hyper scheduled days, I see more and more teachers emphasizing outcome as they take their students through endlessly rehearsed scripts. The result is a strict and mundane kind of experience where students believe yoga = legs behind the head, rather than yoga = liberation from self-limitation. So look for more creativity and less...status quo...from onlYoga in the coming months as the studio continues to evolve consciously.

Sadly I have noticed over the last few years that this great practice we call YOGA is itself becoming mired in limited constructs of money, power, fame and status. Instead of practices providing students with a place to land and evolve after hyper scheduled days, I see more and more teachers emphasizing outcome as they take their students through endlessly rehearsed scripts. The result is a strict and mundane kind of experience where students believe yoga = legs behind the head, rather than yoga = liberation from self-limitation. So look for more creativity and less...status quo...from onlYoga in the coming months as the studio continues to evolve consciously.

Summer Newsletter 2006

Listening - Lesson 1 Subject/Object Relationship

2006-04-29T23:45:00.001-05:00

Acquire an 8.5 x 11” piece of paper and a black writing pen. Draw a line across the page so that your piece of paper is divided into two separate spaces (it doesn't matter where you start or whether it is a vertical or horizontal line as long as it bisects the page). Now draw a circle near but not touching the line (it doesn't matter how large or small the circle is as long as it fits in one of the two spaces on the page). Place the paper in the center of a table that you can walk around. Pick a side and stand facing the drawing. Describe the relationship of the circle to the line. Moving clockwise, walk around the table stopping in turn on each side to describe the relationship of the circle to the line. Continue around the table until you end up where you started. Notice how the relationship of the circle to the line changes. Sometimes the circle will be above the line, sometimes below. Sometimes the circle will be to the left of the line and sometimes to the right. Now ask yourself the following question

“What changed the relationship of the circle to the line?”.
The relationship of subject to object is an artifice of the mind relevant only as long as we insist on maintaining our perspective of up versus down, left versus right, inside versus outside, hot versus cold, black versus white, etc. What does this have to do with anything? Well, as long as we maintain a perspective that places us in opposition to our subject then we are separate from it. Placing ourselves in opposition to our subject makes sense if we are attempting to stay out of the way of the MARTA bus on Peachtree Street but it begins to cause problems when we make ourselves the subject of our inquiry. How can you both be yourself and be separate from yourself simultaneously? How can you be in opposition to you? Trying to hold this kind of mental space is the root of dysfunction. It is easiest for me to conceive of this concept in terms of music. To experience music is not to read notes on a page or say out-loud the words of a song. To experience music is to hear or play or sing the notes and the words, to actively participate in the process of making the musical language into Being. To experience the Self, or to experience God requires the same kind of active participation. God is not a conceit of the mind to be grasped but rather a continual act of non-placement.

Your Greatest Resource

2006-01-31T00:46:00.001-05:00

The tradition of New Year’s is as ancient as civilization itself. In ancient Babylon the turning of the year coincided with mid-March and the transformation of Winter into Spring. In modern times, 153 B.C., we see the figure of Janus (January) a mystical king from early Rome appearing at the head of the calendar. With two faces, Janus could reflect on the past year and consider possibilities of the coming cycle. Janus the god of beginnings and the guardian of thresholds became a symbol for the resolutions we now associate with the holiday. Although the date for New Year’s Day varies in every culture, the theme of celebration and the customs observed to ensure a fulfilling new year are universal.

  Reinventing Yourself

New Year’s is the only holiday that celebrates the passage of time. It’s no surprise then that as we explore the last few moments of the year our thoughts can be reflective, even introspective. Inevitably our introspection leads us to consider possible ways we might improve upon our self and our life in the coming year. Thus ensues the annual ritual of making resolutions. New Year’s is a perfect time to begin the process of reinventing ourselves and in the process replace some outdated habits with fresh invigorating new experiences. Approaching the coming year as a painter would undertake a blank canvas, full of creative possibilities, can fill our life with passion fueled by a sense of natural purpose, intention and hope.

Maintaining Your Momentum

While we may start the year with great intentions for forging ahead in the most positive way possible, come mid-February we are often faced with the shocking reality that staying healthy, happy and successful is hard work. So what do we do when we start to feel the momentum and excitement of those “new” resolutions fade? What can we do to reinvigorate our commitment and make sure we stay on course for the year? Below are some simple strategies for ensuring that this year’s resolutions don’t turn into next year’s anxiety.

1. Make a plan. Break it down. What are the top five things you need to do in order to keep your resolutions rolling? What adjustments, both long-term and short-term, will need to be made in order to achieve your goal(s)?
2. Stop punishing yourself for “bad” behavior. If you get off track don’t waste time wallowing in your own vomit. Keep the self flagellations to a minimum and simply get back on track! Guilt and shame can be short term motivators but ultimately serve only to reinforce what we already know about ourselves.
3. Make the time. This is one of the biggest road blocks to success. You have to carve out the time you need to work on yourself. This should be a no-brainer given that you are your greatest resource.
4. Don’t try to save the world tomorrow. Pick realistic manageable goals that can be achieved over the short and long-term. Picking impossible goals can be a great excuse to fail. Multiple smaller successes can be just as powerful as one large achievement.
5. Motivation, motivation, motivation. Write it down. Talk about it to your friends, partner, family. Motivation keeps us clear and honest during those murky times when that extra piece of chocolate cake is calling or when we think we are just too busy to make it to class. Motivation is not static so what motivates you today may be different next week or next month. Be prepared to adapt your motivation to suit changes in your lifestyle and attitude over the course of the year. Motivation keeps our commitments fresh and invigorating!
Now then, go out there and conquer the world! Happy New Year!

travesty

2005-12-12T22:44:00.000-05:00

travesty

travelling

2005-12-09T17:00:00.000-05:00

travelling

2005-12-09T16:34:00.000-05:00

2005-11-19T23:53:00.000-05:00

There is within each breath a simultaneous fear of...

2005-11-18T15:42:00.000-05:00

There is within each breath a simultaneous fear of both flying and falling. Experiencing the freedom of one requires the fortitude of the other. The battle rages and the feather floats.

me-an-der

2005-11-18T14:47:00.000-05:00

me-an-der

I am traveling in some vehicle, I am sitting in so...

2005-11-18T00:53:00.000-05:00

I am traveling in some vehicle, I am sitting in some cafe.
A defector from the petty wars until love sucks me back that way.

-Joni Mitchell

fire escape

2005-11-18T00:51:00.000-05:00

fire escape

Essence

2005-09-29T23:47:00.001-05:00

The essence of life is the bitter/sweet nectar of emptiness.

Our struggle to fill the emptiness is the root of our suffering and discontent. The meaning of life are the words themselves. And yet the meaning of a thing is not its name. Living motivation stems from the flowering of curiosity, rooted in direct observation. Ambivalence is the terminal by-product of self-delusion. The purpose of living is to express the ever more subtle metaphor of existence. Conversely life has no purpose without the creative act. Fear is a shadow cast by an imaginary being. To Love you must surrender to yourself and die a little bit everyday.

The Struggle

2005-06-29T23:48:00.000-05:00

Nothingness: nonexistence, empty space, a void...

  For everyone there is a certain amount of struggle involved in living life. We all struggle at different times with issues like relationships, money, family, career, loss, addiction, health, love, etc. Often our life struggles are paralleled by resistance on our mat. In our practice, the struggle shows up first as tightness or generalized fatigue in our muscles. As we deepen our practice we notice that the feeling of physical resistance is purely a symptom of mental distraction and inner contraction. If we pause here and look closely we see that our struggle stems from some outdated mental form used to prop up our ego...

During particularly intense periods of resistance and struggle in my own life, I have had glimpses of what lies behind the difficulty in letting go of rigidity and learning to loosen up. (I can think back to being a small child and wandering off from my mother through the clothes racks at the mall. Upon realizing that I had lost her, the department store that seemed so pleasantly stimulating just moments before, suddenly became ominous and intimidating.) Letting go can feel very much like being lost or disappearing. In the space of a heart beats brief life, as we loosen our grip on security, an awareness of panic often floods our senses. The physical or mental act of letting go releases an emotional wave carrying within it the energy we were using to hold on. At the apex of the wave our consciousness is subsumed by a more instinctual part of our brain formulated around our drive to survive. Like a falling leaf, we become displaced from all that seemed cozy and familiar. For just a moment, as we stop controlling the forces around us, we disappear into the chaos of unfamiliar territory. Our dislocation, even if only an instant, is like a miniature death for our ego...
So the struggle is always about trying to maintain or extend some false sense of security we are attempting to carry with us into the present. Even if the security we cling to is obviously self-limiting, it’s difficult for us to believe that it will be replaced by something else, often something more fulfilling. In this light the assertion, made by Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras, that ignorance is the greatest hindrance to enlightenment could’t be more compelling. It takes a great deal of courage and insight to even acknowledge that we are clinging and even more to choose to release our attachment.
Over the years I have learned to welcome the intensity that comes with a good struggle because, in Pema Chodron’s words, “to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life...we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is, how we tick and how our world ticks, how the whole thing just is. If we are committed to comfort at any cost, as soon as we come up against the least edge of pain, we’re going to run; we’ll never know what’s beyond that particular barrier or wall or fearful thing.” 

from Pema Chodron from The Wisdom Of No Escape

Svadhyaya

2005-03-31T00:49:00.001-05:00

Yoga can be an extraordinary tool for bringing into focus and then harnessing the fundamental energies and themes of one’s life experience. Whether we like it or not the clarity revealed while practicing is not limited to the time spent on the mat. In fact, the longer we practice the more we discover our yoga is permeating and effecting all aspects of our life – from the food we choose to eat, right up to our concept of god. This is a “good” thing right…because we are “growing”? Ultimately I believe the process of self examination we undertake by consistently returning to our mat day after day, season after season, year after year is very productive and part of evolving spiritually. However, the process certainly doesn't always feel good – nor should it necessarily. Whether you are sitting quietly in meditation or vigorously projecting yourself through the primary series, yoga acts as a mirror. If we are practicing mindfully then yoga directly reflects back to us our mental, emotional and physical state. If we are agitated then the agitation undoubtedly shows up in our practice. If we are moving through a period of grief in our life, then the heaviness of the grief may present itself to us as we meditate. If we are feeling unfettered or successful then our asana practice may feel equally light and free. Any time you make the effort to see yourself clearly there is the possibility that you will see/experience/discover something uncomfortable. If you practice yoga long enough you will find awkward periods, sad periods, strong periods… The 90 minutes spent on the mat is like concentrated me time – time to decompress. It is a bit naive to believe that the practice is only going to reveal our physical tangles.
This idea of self-exploration or self-study is know as Svadhyaya and is one of the Niyamas (the second limb of Ashtanga yoga relating to internal discipline). I was trained to see yoga in general as a tool for gaining knowledge of the self. In my own life I have found when I consciously engage in Svadhyaya and own it as part of my practice, the opportunity for transformation is amplified. One of the incredible powers of Svadhyaya is its power to reveal the story lines we use to perpetuate our own inner drama. For example believing we are too old, weak, inflexible, overweight, poor, etc., to execute this challenging practice. When the story lines finally drop away (when we stick around long enough and are consistent in our practice) we discover the ability to be was there all along!